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Monday, July 18, 2005

No John Kerry = No Flip Flops

to: the northwestern women's lacrosse team
re: white house flip-flop incident
from: a concerned, well-educated, fashionable, chicago-area woman.

ladies,

i don't even know where to begin. but really, honestly, the question must be reiterated. . . why did you wear flip-flops and sandals to the white house?! why?! seriously, how could you?

keeping in mind that you attend one of the most reputable universities in the nation (near a fairly fashionable city!) makes this even more confusing to me. you are obviously intelligent women--how could this have happened? you look like you were about ready to attend a garden party or a barbeque. would you go to a job interview on michigan avenue wearing flip-flops and no pantyhose? no. no you certainly wouldn't. and if you did, you certainly would not be hearing back from the company in question. despite my disdain for conventional formalities, i still believe certain decorum and dress are required for specific occasions. i imagine a visit to the white house ought to be a few steps up from job interviews on the formality scale, but apparently someone forgot to drop this memo into your locker room. i would even have been reluctant to get so liberal as to wear a closed toe, sling-back pump.

i can recommend two books for further reading on the topic. please consult them next time. . . before you step out of your home wearing what you deem to be "acceptable" attire:

What Not to Wear by Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine
What Not to Wear For Every Occasion by Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine

while some reporters have been attempting to cut you some slack by claiming that the flip-flop is becomming more acceptable in certain situations. . . i believe they are just bullshitting you. or, being paid off by northwestern trustees and contributors in order to hide this media disaster.

i must say, there have been nights that i have looked classier in my bar attire.

xo,

kellieannie

5 Comments:

At 1:35 PM, Blogger Josh said...

Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine clearly need to write a book called What not to wear to the White House. I smell a #1 bestseller!

 
At 1:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You sound like a catty gay man.

 
At 2:17 PM, Anonymous Wild Bill said...

"Anonymous" must spend a lot of quality time with catty gay men (probably spooning with them) to know what they sound like. And what kind of person goes to someone's blog and leaves whiny anonymous comments? I'd say it's probably the same person who has left other crybaby messages on here. You know, the type of person who requires tube socks while he watches the scrambled porn channel and stays in on Saturday nights to play video games and eat Cheetos. I guess I should watch out, or this same blog surfing jackoff might visit my site and leave comments to remind me that he's a douchebag who is lacking in the social skills department.

 
At 2:18 PM, Blogger kellieannie said...

thanks. i adore catty gay men

 
At 12:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a sidenote, those sandals, due to their infamy, were auctioned off to help pay the medical bills of a 10-year-old fan of the team who is battling brain cancer.

 

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